Phone - Versations...

B - " Honey, Mai kal poore din tumhe hi yaad kar raha tha"
G - "Chal Jhoothe, kal raat ko to aisa kuch kaha nahi tumne"
B - "Par phone se meri feelings ko to mehsus kiya hoga tune"
G - giggles... "Mummy aa rahi hai, baad mai phone karna"
B - " I will miss you"
G - " Tum bhi na, bade badmaash ho"

Yes, you might have guessed it.. This is the typical phone-versation of a newly in love couple.

This has always been a mystery, for us so called eternally single guys.. How can two people talk for hours together each day of the week... In God's name how?? Don't they run out of things to talk??

Have seen many such love stuck couples in my college life.. If it is the parents or any relatives calling, the guy will have a straight face, not talk for more than 5-6 minutes and will be within watching distance.. If it is the gf, the front 7-8 teeth will be constantly visible, he will talk as if he owns the telephone company, all of a sudden his repository of world class jokes increases and will even talk in a garbage dump to get "Privacy"..

One could easily see such wandering souls on the terrace, on the far side of the campus and roaming on the roads... A factor which encouraged these things even further was the Reliance Handset... A thing of such rare beauty, that I would not even consider buying it in my dreams; it is the modern version of the "Kabootar ja ja ja" from Maine Pyaar Kiya... Just recharge for the offer once a month and then forget about it.. Long live Dhirubhai Ambani, he will forever be remembered by the love birds of this country..

Some of us single guys in the college would speculate about what the couples would talk... there was this guy who would talk on the phone with his darling even in the loo..

Following is one of our speculations, about the phone-versation going on.. ( Reader discretion advised)

B - " Ha honey, maine loo ka darwaaza band kar diya hai.. Aaj mai left waale loo mai baitha hu"
G - "Tumhaari bhi roz nayi cheeze try karne ki aadat hai"
B - "Honey, kal maine dinner mai kele zyaada kha liye the na, to lagta hai zyaada time lagega loo mai.. honey yeh suno - ( puts the phone near to the fart that comes out)
G - "Nahi Honey, tumhaare last indigestion ke time is se bhi zyaada bhayaanak aawaaz aayi thi, kuch nahi hoga fikar mat karo"
B - " Honey tum nahi hoti to mera kya hota, "

Can't write the rest of the script - too graphic in nature.. not for the faint-hearted

If you ask any of the Love birds as to what they talk about, even they don't know..

As for me, after college, I seem to have been suffering from the "Aur batao" syndrome on the phone..

When talking with an old college friend ( esp. a girl ), the first 1-2 minutes would be fine..
"kaisi hai, gharwaale kaise hai, kaam kaisa chal raha hai " types question..

After that, when we run out of the usual questions, then the syndrome starts

"Aur batao" ??
"kuch nahi, life kat rahi hai, kaam ne pareshaan kar diya hai, aur tum?"
"Same here"
"Ok"
...
..
" Aur batao"??
..
..

This goes on for about 1-2 minutes and the conversation ends. I can't think of anything to talk really....

I am beginning to worry... have I lost the will to talk on the phone?? In the rare chance that I get a girlfriend, will I be able to match up to the standards of non stop talking on the phone, set by so many of my predecessors.. O god give me strength....

Till Next Time

Sarath