Malala, Satyarthi & 99.8%ile in CAT

Yeah, today is one of those days. The day when you get to hear a self-absorbed, ignorant and opinionated rant.

But on second thoughts; with the advent of facebook and twitter, every Tom, Dick & Harry gets to spit out his "OUTRAGE" on every damn thing under the sun. So this day might not be different after all.. The only difference being that you get to hear some pears of wisdom from this blog. 

I normally take a back seat on passing my judgement on any major news. You can call it the signs of a lazy citizen or the scruples of a person who doesn't want to comment on anything without knowing the whole truth. In such matters, i take the road dictated by my spiritual guru "The Dude" from the Big Lebowski - I "abide" and mind my own business...

The Nobel peace prize was announced today. As expected Malala got it along with a guy from India called "Kailash Satyarthi". Though I am ashamed to say i had never heard about the guy earlier, I felt immensely proud, even more so when I googled him and found out the kind of work he has been doing. 

So what would tick of this all abiding guy from Dudeland you ask and force him to write a blog. When some opinionated pricks start pointing fingers at the honor and say things like

• You just have to toe the lines of a western NGO to get this award nowadays
• If the NGO is run by a certain section of the society, it is never recognized, because the west hates these guys
• it is just a token award during times of war between India & Pakistan

To all these people, I write an open letter, or an open blog:\

1. Just recount what you were doing at the following ages
• 11 - fighting with your younger brother over who gets the remote 
• 13 -  fighting with the neighbouring society kids over who had won the toss before the inter  cricket match
• 15 - fighting with your parents who are forcing you to study for your 10^th board exams
• 17 - fighting again with your parents over not being allowed to go to Goa with your friends after the 12^th board exams
2. Now, just replace it with the following life events
• 11-13 - writing a personal blog against the Taliban about your opinion on promoting girls' education in the Swat Valley which makes you world famous
• 15 - being shot in the head by terrorists while you were travelling in your school bus and being unconscious and critical for so long after that
• 16 - speaking on education for the girl child at the U.N headquarters
• 17 - getting the Nobel prize

Now, I know I may be a little well off in Logical reasoning (scored 99,8% in CAT), but even my friend's 3 year old daughter can figure out from this, as to who from the following 2 cases deserves recognition. 

I normally follow a simple philosophy on such cases - "If you have not experienced it, you don't have to right to comment on it."

Continuing the scenarios, just imagine you are able to live up to the ripe young age of 60 (fairly easy for our politicians). Can you do the following by the respective age?

• 26 - Give up your career and dedicate yourself to the cause against child labour
• 50 - Be on all the major panels working towards child development 
• 55 - Be awarded all the major nations in the world for your work except your home country
• 60 - get the Nobel prize

• Yup, it's a west funded award and they will have their own criteria. If you are handing out some recognition or award, wouldn't you want the winners to have followed some of your own criteria rather than wait for the respective governments to nominate someone from the yearly quota. 
• Yup, there would have been more deserving winners, but I am pretty sure that those guys would be the last guys to be worried about it. They would keep on doing their work
• Even if the award is just a token, it is a token which is recognized globally and will surely bring more attention to the causes and force the respective governments to take some hard steps against it.
• about allegations of financial irregularity against Satyarthi - prove it and you can have a Well done award from us. Till then keep your trap shut. 

Well, I think I have outraged enough.

My bai seems to think, I am fasting for Karva Chauth. No breakfast for me till now.

The Confused Chef

Lately, I have been developing a new Hobby - cooking. You would ask, "Why so late in life, Sarath?" And I would answer "Necessity is the mother of invention". When the going gets tough and eating restaurant food everyday burns a hole in your pocket so deep which even Ambuja cement can't fill, you are forced to develop hobbies.

Before starting this new venture, I did my usual soul searching. Would it be right to expose my internal digestive organs as a guinea pig to the Culinary experiments i was going to conduct. But I tried it 2-3 times and I realized that I was a natural. Sure, Half of the rice stuck to the cooker, the omelet was a dark shade of black on one side, the Batata Poha had more batata than poha but I am still alive.

As I am getting used to the terms in cooking sites, I have a list of doubts which I would like my friends to help me with

- What exactly is a golden brown color?? My onions usually turn black as soon as I turn my eyes away from the pan. It is like some invisible force in the kitchen doesn't like the color Golden brown

- What do you do when you have a spoon that is larger than the tea-spoon and smaller than the table spoon?? What is the ratio like tea:Middle:table spoons?

- if you accidentally spill a small packet full of chilli powder into the pan while cooking ( it only happened like 5 or 6 times the last week i promise), how do you still make the food edible?

- What is a CUP of something???? See the last time i put a cup of rice to pressure cook, it lasted for a week and then I had something left to give to the neighbour's dog..

- Shopping for food is more tiring than cooking. If only it were like Sanjeev Kapoor's show, where all the recipe items were placed in small glass bowls before hand and all you had to do was empty them in the pan
                        - ek katori baareek kati hui pyaaz, do chamach  hara dhaniyaa etc etc..

- How come the Masterchef Australia guys prepare whole meals in half an hour, while we are stuck at the Onion cutting stage.

- Is there any lazy person's guide to cooking? where all the dishes are completed in15 minutes and taste great?

- How much trial & error food(most of it error) can the human body take???


But I am happy to say that I have made good progress. My earlier repertoire of cooking skills included only Maggi and Tea, Now it has expanded to rice, batata with some poha, bread poha (bread with chilli powder - loads of it), onions with some scrambled eggs and my speciality - potato and tomato curry with half a kilo of chilli)

Wish me luck..

Giving Back to the World

No, I am not being all benevolent and Bill Gatesy with the title. On the contrary, I just want you to "tear 2 chappads to the 1 that the world tears for you".. "Soot samet waapis dena" - in plain Hindi..

In Present Indian Government terms this would be followed like this 

- You do not return the two Italian Marines !!!! - we will not have Italian Pastas for a month. Take that Italy, Ha. Let us see how your economy survives now.

- You rape our daughters haa!!! - we will ban protective films on Bus windows. Did you see how rapes have stopped altogether in buses with Films?? I tell you this banning thing is a one stop solution

- You stop Mumbai for a day with a Bandh haa!!! - How dare you??? In return we will arrest 3 girls who commented about it on FB. How dare they disturb the online peace of so many netizens??

- You want to comment on the great IIPM haa!! The heights of daring.. We will pre-screen everything written about the great Arindham ponytail Chaudhary and ban them.. I told you banning works like a Charm.

- You want to enquire about Robert Daamaad Vadra??? Let us conduct a long due hanging to divert the attention..


I tell you, this is the best Indian Government ever. Finally we have got a decisive, authoritative government that takes swift action (in whatever direction).

And to top it all, we have the best Opposition too. Always ready for a debate, concentrating on important points to raise and discuss.

These are Golden times for Indian Politics.. God bless us

Hibernation over..

Ever felt that you have no control over your life? that it is spiralling downwards like anything? felt that you have lost all the confidence in the world? that there is nothing good going on with you???

If the answer to any of those questions is yes, then u need to stop reading this blog and get your sh*t together..seriously.. This post will not help you.. I just wrote those sentences to create the dramatic effect for a grand entry after such a long hibernation..

Well it has been a long and tiring two months. Much has happened..

= The junior batch arrived in our college and I have been falling in and out of love for , let me count.. hmmm.. 8-9 times till now.. nothing new in that...

= The weather's been awesome the past 2-3 days in Gurgaon, raining non-stop, adding to the mood and inspiring me to write some thought-befuddling, disturbing crap..

= Some inspiring classes this term after the neck-back-ass breaking schedule of last term... One prof shows 2-3 movie clips every class.. that too totally related to the subject of finance.. inspiring guy

= Have new reached new heights of laziness... If the laptops far from me on my bed, I have learnt to type with my toes.. Can't move my bum even an inch...

= was at home for 10 days.. Ate every meal like it was my last meal on earth and entry to heaven would be provided based on the amount of food you have in your belly

= Still haven't come to terms with north-indians ability to survive on aloo, paneer and chole

= Still resolve to start gymming every weekend.. Still sleep over whole weekends..

= About to complete the silver jubilee of my life in about 3 months.. Parents still wishing that I atleast get the maturity of a 15 year old by then.. can't satisfy parents ever.... hmm

= Hooked onto movies like everytime.. After seeing transformers, feel as if the washing machine in my floor is a "decepticon" - the kind of noises it make..


some of my friends have suggested to me that I don't write inspiring stuff... well I can't promise the sky, but my next post will definitely be inspiring, atleast it will inspire you not to expect such things from me...


ADIOS

Sarath

SDM - Sar Dard Management

In 7-8 months I would have reached that phase of my career where I would have to take many important decisions which would determine the path that the rest of my life would take. I am 24- almost 25, have had a reasonably easy life. No big achievements, no clue whatsoever about the future; in short similar to the other 98% of 24-25 year olds around.

So what's the problem you say???

Well the big problem is that my "Antar-aatma" which was lying low the last 24-25 years has suddenly become active. Questions like "What will you be 5 years from now?", "Why don't I have a girlfriend?", "What have I achieved that is worthwhile in life?", "when will I ever grow up?" , "why don't I have any focus?" torch my brain like the awesome heat of Delhi.. The phenomena is heightened whenever I am alone.. I tried finding answers for some of them but I drew a blank everytime; u see, never thought about such things earlier.

As many of the great philosophers say, it is necessary to have answers to all such questions, but do we really have to?? Isn't life itself a great big journey of self-discovery, where one finds the answers with time. Is life all about planning and being organized? Though I admire the people who have planned out their future well in advance, shouldn't there be people like me to balance them, people who give meaning to the world clueless.. See now, all this thinking has made me blurt out all the mumbo-jumbo in this paragraph, I have no clue about..

Some distractions do occur which prevent me from too much thinking

-for e.g. exams in my college, I have lost count of them here
- blogging, to vomit out all the crap
- also a recent distraction; like Voldemort it can't be named, but I will keep u guys updated about it.
-occasional parties
- friends
- tasty junk food
- movies on my lappy

All the signs of a lazy, good for nothing creature..


Till Next Time

Sarath

P.s - The Blog Title is the name of a course in our college, obviously elaborated by me.

Cullinary Depression

It's been a year now since I moved to the North of India.. of the many peculiarities exhibited by North Indians, the strangest is their un-explainable fascination with "Paneer"..

I used to like Paneer when I was in Gujarat. Used to eat it 2-3 times a month in restaurants. But all of it changed the moment I landed in Delhi.. Paneer is like a staple diet here.. U got to eat it atleast 5-6 times (oops sorry, make that as many times as possible) a week. The mess serves Paneer 3-4 times a week. The restaurants take it to an altogether new level. Here are some of the delicacies I ate in restaurants here,

1. Hakka Noodles - I ordered it expecting to eat some Chinese food. But the thing which I got was a bowl full of Paneer with some noodles and vegetables added to taste. When I asked the waiter whether it was the wrong order, pat came the reply "Yeh to standard Hakka Noodles hi hai, Pehchaana nahi kya sir?" Now i start wondering, in which part of China, were such Noodles a standard?

2. Masala Dosa - South Indians coming to Delhi, Gurgaon may be surprised to find the liberal dosages of Paneer that are sprinkled inside the Dosas..

There's this restaurant near my college.. It appears as if they have a Paneer factory and are using the restaurant as a means to dispose of whateve extra Paneer they have. I have eaten there many times, but am yet to find a dish which hasn't some Paneer in it. Chole Bhature with 2-3 cubes of Paneer, Mix vegetable has equal quantities of Paneer and vegetables, Fried rice should be renamed as Paneer rice. The day you don't get some Paneer in your dish, the chef would have been really hungry and he himself would have eaten the Paneer assigned for your dish

And the people here - Going to restaurants with North Indian friends, the first thing that comes to their mind for ordering "Ek Paneer Butter Masala to Hona hi chahiye!!!"

All this has really made me really terrified of Paneer. I keep having these dreams where even the famous Fish Curry from Kerala is being served to me with a generous sprinkling of Paneer.. Only God can save me from this Cullinary Depression.

Till Next Time

Sarath

Today I fell in love a thousand times

Today I fell in love a thousand times, when I was roaming the streets of South Delhi..

You know that expression "go weak in the knees"??? Well my knees are pretty strong, but whenever I visit South Delhi or the University area in Delhi, it sometimes feels like I am in heaven.. repeated attacks to the knees, as they go weak every now n then on seeing a girl, with that all familiar sigh.. At times I feel, i would need a knee replacement surgery..

Don't get me wrong. I am not those starer or teaser types.. I appreciate beauty responsibly and respectfully.. But I have a slight weakness of crushes. If i start to list out the number of crushes I had since childhood, then the space allocated for this blog would be full and I would have to open a new account. Majority of them have been temporary ones only to be replaced by a new crush.. Only few make it to the elite Crush Club of lifelong Crushes..

No, no, don't get your hopes high.. I am not going to list out the Elite Club.. This is not some"India TV" or "Aaj Tak" which banks on sensationalism...

"SANSANNNNNNIIIII - Woh Akeli Ladki yeh nahi Jaanti thi ki woh Sarath ke Crush Club mai hai.. Kya woh is darinde ki kaatil iraado se bach paayegi?? Karte hai parda faash"

But the main issue here is that I never had the guts to talk to any of my crushes about it.. God knows if i had talked to some of them, i might have had a girlfriend now and would not have been making "Khayali Pulao" plans of making ASIN my girlfriend..

I got to end my post, before I start sounding more despo than Karunanidhi for a minister berth for his children n partymen...

Till Next Time

Sarath

Songs to be played when you are punch drunk with your friends

SBU's definitive guide to "Songs to be played when you are punch drunk with your friends"

Note - Only for Hindi film music loving, romantically inclined drunkards.. The rest can take notes, might help you in the future..

• Majority of Atif Aslam Songs - "Woh Lamhe Woh Baate", "Tere Bin", "Pehli Nazar mai"... There is a kind of sorrow in his voice, which forces all those romantically jilted brethren to spill their beans.
  
• Some KK songs - "Pal rahe ya na rahe pal", etc.
• Emraan Hashmi songs - "tera mera rishta purana", "zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye".. even though he makes crap movies, his songs are awesome..
• 90s romantic songs - like from "Aashiqui", "Jo jeet wohi sikander" etc.. reminds one about one's college life.
• Those Pakistani Rock bands - some have those awesome songs which really set the mood or as they say in delhi "Feel la dete hai".
• Other Miscellaneous senti songs according to the mood of the drunkards..

There are some other conditions while playing the songs..

• The listeners have to be moderately to heavily drunk before starting the songs., otherwise they will appear as just normal songs.
• All should be encouraged to sing along, once again for "Feel Laane ke liye" ...
• Those eager to dance along should not be stopped, let them go with the flow..
• Proper environment, also called "MAHOUL" has to be set up before the festivities.. e.g. nice secluded place, 1-2 ppl who would stay sane until the end to take care of the rest.

Some of the prominent reactions to Alcohol

• Majority get senti n start remembering their lost loves and lost chances "Yaar usko pata liya hota to", "Woh Daga deke chali gayi dost", "Kya kamee thi mere mai???".. Have seen many cry afterwards
• Some start an introspection of their lives "Kya kiya maine life mai abhi tak?", "Kuch meaning hai mere astitva ka, bata Sarath",
• Some start discussing social and economic evils like they are the experts " Yeh society ka kya hoga", "India mai ladkiyo ki life sachmuch mai tough hai", "Recession ne maar ke rakhi hai"
• Some just keep quiet and stare into the empty space.
• Some let off their hidden anger and start picking up fights with anyone.
• Then There are the rest, who just can't control it and start doing anything under the sun.

The fun starts when you realise that one is talking about the amount of beer left in his bottle and the opposite person replies by lamenting the sorry state of women's education in India.!!
An awesome sight Indeed.


Till Next Time

Sarath

P.S - I got my tubelight repaired at last.

The dark side

The Tubelight in my room's been blown off to heaven.. God rest it's soul.. The incident happened last night when it ended it's journey on this earth with a loud pop and a burning smell..

In its absence I have been leading a life pretty similar to what our ancestors used to lead; of course they didn't have the laptop and the fan working but still I am pretty much in the dark ages now, living by whatever little light that filters out of the adjacent rooms..

Now you would ask, why didn't I repair the damn thing or go to my friends' rooms.. ? I have kinda started liking the dark.. You know why???

1. One can't look at one's bulging tummy in the dark and so that's one less reason to be sad off.
2. One doesn't have to study anything; how can anyone expect me to
3. Horror movies look even more awesome when watched in the dark
4. It's simply awesome to play such games in the dark as "Where did I keep my Damn socks>", "Is that my cold cream or my toothpaste I am putting on my face?", "What did I step on just now, my clothes or a mouse>", "Where's the question mark key on the keyboard> "
5. It's in a strange way more peaceful and calm for the mind.. The tubelight sometimes fills your already cluttered mind with irrelevant thoughts.. it's more easier to think in the dark.

Just pray that the hostel authorities take 1-2 more days to replace the bulb.

N one more thing; it's hot like hell in Delhi. It seems like when God created Delhi he said to the people, " Here you go guys, a place where there is almost no rain, where the cold freezes your bones and the heat then bakes them. Go enjoy yourself"

Till Next Time

Sarath

Back after a "HI-A-Tussss"

For the small number of people who read my Blog occasionally, sorry for the long absence.. Have been quite busy the last 15-20 days and was kinda addicted to movies in the spare time. But I have come out of that and am ready to write something truly beautiful, romantic, meaningful and breath taking.. Sorry Strike that out, as usual I will only write crappy, meaningless and uninspiring stuff.

For that matter, I have decided to ban such words as beautiful, inspiring etc from the comment box also.. People who comment with such words haven't really read my blog.

Have been receivin some strange friend requests lately on Orkut. One sample

Name "/-\$@()$%^3"

"Hi, I am cool, sexy and liking friends. Want to have frandships with me?"

I was like, why not?? Seems like a nice guy, whatever his name is.. He seems to be a member of all the cool clubs, "Roadies fans", "Dil Mill Gaye fans", "Cool Guys n Gals". His profile pic is also too cool, though it seems somewhat similar to a model I have seen in an ad.. His about me intro is full of ####**** designs.. Even his testimonials have large flowers.. Obviously he has no problems with making and liking fraandships...What more does one want in an online friend??? Guys n Gals pls advise. Can u find one flaw in him??


Saw the Episode of How I met your Mother, where the main character writes down a list of things which he is too old to do.. Thought of writing one list for myself too..

• Sit on the petrol tank of the bike with my father riding it.. gosh I miss those rides..
• Jump on those Inflatable Castles they put in Amusement parks. I really used to enjoy them. They don't allow anyone above 10.
• While on a train journey alone, if a eunuch comes asking for money, I would silently point to the old gentleman sitting nearby suggesting that I was with him and they would instead start pestering him for more money. Nowadays, as I have a slightly more mature look, they don't fall for those tricks anymore..
• Sleep with no other worry than how to spend the next day at school
• Not think about the complexities of relationships

and many other things...

Couldn't vote this time too... It's my bad luck that I am always out of station when there are elections.. I even have a voter's ID, with the name Sertha Babu.. That's the main problem in Gujarat; for South Indians, by the time they translate your name from Gujarati to English, it finally appears to be a Latin Name..

And it seems I am popular with Air Hostessess. It was the second flight of my life with Indigo Air, and the first question I get from the Hostess while entering is, " Sir, didn't you come six months ago by this flight???" For God's sake, this was the first time that a girl actually remembered me, while I couldn't recall seeing her.. and I couldn't even talk to her properly, the baldy behind me kept pushing me forward into the plane....
SBU says "Yeh Apna dil to aawaara, najaane kyu harek ladki pe aata hai"..

Breaking News --

The Content of SBU's blog has somehow angered many Bollywood actors.. Here they are, showing their displeasure to SBU in a press conference held recently.

"The poet shows the finger"

"Even the Villain is angry"

"Even the grand family of Bollywood does not refrain from showing the finger. When asked why she was laughing while posing, Jaya replied that SBU was so crap that she could help laughing at his fate"

Efforts are being made to find out what provoked this outrage..

Till then

Sarath